Updated: May 16, 2019

The Other Side of Love written by Derrick A. Walker
375 from the book The Other Side of Love written by Derrick A. Walker

375 is a piece written that was never supposed to be part of the book. It was something that I felt like doing at the time as sort of a pallet cleanser so to speak. I wanted to get my mind moving in a different direction than what I had been working on which was heartfelt pieces written about transformation. The words are themselves raunchy and short. They are right to the point leaving nothing for the wandering mind to toil with. It’s written about actions more than it is about expressions and wordplay. It’s saying the things that many may think but will never say or ask and somehow with all of these undesirables it ended up being the first piece in the book.

I think that today’s society has become so correct in our manners and tones, interactions and words and especially in how we generally interact with one another. Somewhere the edginess has been lost, and the intimacy has become something altogether different. Things that were so captivating at one point or would plainly make you think have become outcasts themselves. So why would this be the first piece in a book about relationships given my outlook and struggles with releasing it in the first place? Well, the answer to that isn’t clear at first though suffice it to say that it took some time for me to be okay with it being that way. If you’ve gotten anything from what I’ve already written about you’ll know that the choice to put together this compilation didn’t come easy, and some parts were hard fought for emotionally. In this, I found the biggest fight was with myself. Who am I as a person, outside of being a parent, what is left of me before kids came into the picture and what parts of me are better left where they are?


375 is definitely one of those pieces that have challenged me to fight for the missing fragments of myself (past, present, and future) juxtaposing it with who I’ve become and what I currently know. Thanks, Jerome for bringing that word back to my vocabulary J. It is a challenging piece because it opens a door letting in such uncomfortability and to be honest, comfort seems so peaceful so why change. Part of it is sometimes I do things that just don’t make sense at first, but if you stay with m, the road will become clear.

In today’s world, the path can go either way because there is the whole correctness of our society, but there is also this ‘be who you are’ mentality that is taking on a life of its own. The privileged youth that we’ve raised has done a few things right, and this is one of them.

Change is good, so I thought why not, I’ll embrace it enough to understand my role in it and be able to reach for things that seemed so distant before. The hunger to write never did die; it merely took a backseat to being a father which is another reason this write was so challenging.

I grew up in a place where giving a girl a lifesavers candy was partially considered a wedding ring. How many of you remember those commercials? Now information is at our fingertips so it could be that my words will mean nothing to a generation that I’ve helped to rear or they could consume it in the wrong way which would ensure that I would feel terrible about it. Now, back to my youthful look into a past almost forgotten, it was this youth that 375 was born of. Those commercials so long ago are likely remembered only by the forty-somethings who grew up singing along so you might enjoy this trip down memory lane. Please tread lightly because the path gets quite rocky from here on out.

This piece leaves the metaphors at bay and plainly says what you’ve thought at some point in time. By the way, if you’re not of age with your own job you should stop reading now, the rest of this is for

Grown Folks Only
Grown Folks Only


With information being so consumable another part of me struggled with the questions of ‘where do I stop and what should be discussed openly’ in this effort. This piece isn’t for everyone so if you know that the upcoming topic is something that you are uncomfortable with then honestly stop reading. I almost apologize in advance if I offend anyone though that won’t stop me from being honest about the point of the work. You can’t talk about relationships and leave out one of the key elements that make any relationship good in the first place. How many people are in relationships right now for this reason alone? Let’s talk about it! Say it with me, “SEX.” Sex, making love, making woopie, etc. call it what you want there is more value in the act than the name itself.

If you’re over 40 then you probably remember Schoolhouse Rock: Conjunction Junction, I’m Just a Bill, Three Is a Magic Number, Adverbs or any of many episodes. My work has nothing to do with these at all, but they help to recount the times making them a good reference point for an era that I’m building up to. If you can you remember those, then you may also remember that famously sadistic owl from the Tootsie Roll Pop commercial who ate the boys pop – poor kid. Inspiration comes from many places with me, and this was as good a place to start as any. We’re getting into deep waters here so if you’re feeling squeamish at all I urge you to turn back now before it’s too late.

375 is a written conversation about the act of sex. What else right? What else would have such the build-up with the theme music playing in the background? It’s written from the male's point of view and walks through what he is thinking about doing before the act of doing it. He’s playing it in his head. He imagines what it would be like and how to pursue it. He allows his mind to create an environment in which his partner will be the beneficiary. It’s all about her, and I think that’s the beauty of it and why it works because it’s so common. There are no rose pedals to contend with, no bubble bath and barely any four play at all. It’s from the perspective of a man so straight down to business it is.

You should know there are no great metaphors written into it like Just Breathe, so you won’t find that it blows your mind with slick lyrics and smooth verses. It’s not about that at all. It’s down and somewhat dirty because that’s what happens in these tear your clothes off moments. We are not tied to one move or one position or one thought – there is a plethora of images and scenery that sparks from it so why not explore. The book isn’t an account of favorite positions at all as that would only be one side of things. What I mean is if you’ve felt a feeling while in a relationship then it is probably in the book.

Mind blowing
Mind blowing

More to the point, 375 says, “I don’t want to wife you right now, I simply want to ... you”. Remember this is an anytime, anyplace situation; well you get the idea. I wasn’t hoping to wow anyone with technical writing or orgies of words I wanted to stress an opinion of what I was feeling at the time. Since it wasn’t going to be used in the book it didn’t matter to me at all because I would be the only person ever to read it. It was just something to write to talk through what I felt was missing and thought that it would be cool to bring the owl out of retirement to answer that age-old question. How many licks does it take to get to the center of that pop, likewise, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a spouse or a lover. I guess in this age where we’re swiping left, and right you can fill in that blank with your own fan fair.

To be honest, no, I have never actually counted to see how many licks it would take to get to that creamy center. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I did feel like 375 was more than enough for anyone to feel multiple floods of orgasms. I’m no expert nor do I claim to be I’m just writing what I feel to be true understanding that people are different and while 375 may be excessive for some but just right for others, and that is what I was hoping to get to.

By now I hope that you did have a chance to listen to the piece or at least sample it. That will make this blog entry mean so much more so if you haven’t hit the website do so and let me know what you think.

At the end of the day, which is something that I said a lot of in Something Changed, I hope that I don’t come off rude or egotistical because that’s not at all what this is about. I’m just as self-conscience as everyone else about things, but I am also unapologetic about how I feel. After all, my feelings alone don’t hurt anyone though I’m conscious enough to know that they do make some feel uncomfortable and if that is the case I did give an out so let’s commune and bridge the gap of our differences.

Till next time.

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