Have you ever been fascinated with someone? I mean a hard crush that was so hard that you wanted to be with them all of the time? They were in your head deep and in some cases may have changed your perspective or outlook on life. Think back and be truthful with yourself about it.
Let Me Go, is about that very situation. It is the last position of the infatuation theme in the book. Emotionally it comes in towards the end after Conversational Lush and Chicago, which are about the beginning and middle stages of infatuation.
Did you think about it honestly yet? Do recall the person’s name? Can you see their face? Are you with them right now? Is this something that is in your past or present? If you know like I know these emotions aren’t always good for you. They help you to make some bad choices sometimes like staying awake when you should be asleep — spending time with them when you should be at work — Facetiming when you should be studying. You know what I mean! None of these are really that bad and are easy concessions to make. Things can easily get out of hand if you let them.
When you were dealing with this person did you really want to be with them all the time! You can't get enough of how they make you feel. You can't get enough of how they smell. This is someone that you are into like I love this poetry. She's almost like a drug addiction, but instead of taking her, you get that same high from her touch or maybe a telephone call. Now, this isn't necessarily about a him or a her, but in this situation, I’ll use him as an example because that's how I wrote the piece.
Because it’s at the tail of the phase, you recognize the fact that you can’t or shouldn’t be with them anymore. You realize it because reality hits you. She’s married, and you finally understand that she’ll never really be yours because she’s got a family at home. The subject of the piece is dealing with the fact that he’s alone and single and can’t even hang with this woman like he wants to because she’s not really his.
Let Me Go was written from this guys perspective, but it can be used either way. The audio follows the rigid path of the written word for this piece, which makes it easy to digest. The audio version has the chorus line cries as he sustains his point of letting go which isn't included in the written version. The audio comes to life as an authentic situation in that way. It stays on path recounting what one would feel if they were in those shoes. Let’s be honest there’s always been a chic or a dude on the side since Abraham was Abram. They were just called, concubines but this may make some folks upset because these were acceptable t the time so I’ll stop there and move on.
The piece is about his quest to get her out of his head. Come on now, haven’t you ever been here where you literally had to evict someone from your mind? Let’s be real about it!
He starts out with, "I'm not going to tell you that I want to be with you all the time. Instead, I’m gonna hide behind funny quips and lies so you can’t see my eyes." This dude has it bad, but that’s reality in this situation. When you say the adverse of what is true, you are trying to convince yourself more than trying to convince anyone else. You want to be with this person, but you find that it was hard to say this phrase without accepting the fact that your guard is down and you are open, hoping that they will say anything to prove you wrong.
You’re into them like Tamia, so what do you do?
He’s realized that things have gone too far. He picks up the phone out of desperation to hear a few words and maybe set something up where they can be alone for a few, but she can’t talk because he’s home. This isn’t the first time, but he does realize it at the moment that this is life for him now and unless he changes, nothing else will change. “If you love me, let me go,” is the mantra that he repeats openly. His mind keeps saying “Just get out, just leave” in hopes that it will be enough to curve his appetite for her. His mind asks him the question, “What are you gonna do”, to which he answers himself as though it’s a musical, “I don’t know, I’m trying to figure it out right now – what the hell am I supposed to do when I’m in love with a married woman, and at night he’s the one that’s loving you down”. Simple and low as he tries anything to rid his emotions from the tricks they play on his heart.
He’s rehearsing his lines, trying to build his confidence to walk away. This is the same person who changed your world when you weren’t looking for anyone to even be in your world. They came in and brought something that you didn’t know you were missing and now you find that you’ve got to pry them from the existence of your mind. It’s not that you are remorseful of the role that they’ve played but the season has come to a close, and now it’s time to move beyond this point.
Growth is hard, and leaving something behind that you wanted so much isn’t easy at all.
Whether it’s infatuation, love, sexual or some strange addiction this person is in your head so deep that you're screaming at the top of your lungs for them to get out of your head to allow you to move on. You feel as though you can't do it on your own so you need them to leave, but you're not sure if they will because they are into you almost as much if not more. Let Me Go is a piece about the trenches of wanting something but not being able to have it. It might seem crazy, but it’s real!
Let me ask you this; have you ever thought about showing up to their house because you can't get enough of whatever it is that they're doing for you? This is starting to sound like it borders the line of obsession, and maybe it does, but I think infatuation and obsession straddle a very thin line. We can’t always see the difference, especially when we’re the one involved in it.
Where did this idea come from, well let me tell you the whole truth? Let Me Go came to me one night while I was working late. It seems that between the hours of 12:30 am – 3:30 am, I am my most creative. The house is quiet because everyone's resting so I can really get into me and begin to pull out all of the creepy little things that’s been hiding in my head all day. I wrote it and knew that I had to do more with it. I had just finished working with R2D Productions on Chicago, and Something Changed and knew that this was going to be the next piece to the puzzle of emotions that this book is about. It just made sense to do this.
People don’t usually get into these situations expecting to have feelings for one another, I’d assume, but in this case, feelings ensue, and the single party is beginning to regret the decision. You can hear him, or her screaming out in their minds, “Let me go, let me go.” Not many will admit that they’ve been here, but I know this is speaking to somebody out there :-).
A fun fact is I was literally screaming out on this one while recording at 2:30 am. You can’t really hear it as loud because of the compression, however. It’s amazing that no one woke up to hear me going off.
That’s it for me this time. Check back in soon, and we’ll talk a little bit more about relationships of all sorts.